Talking to the Moon

At night, when the stars light up my room, I sit by myself. Talking to the moon. Trying to get to you. In hopes, you’re on the other side, talking to me too

I’ve wanted to sit down for several days now I flop all of my feelings out in writing in hopes that maybe it would help ease my mind and give my soul some peace.  Although I don’t know if it will do much good.

I’ve remarked to Colby several times the past few weeks, how interesting it is that the realization that Popster has passed away hits me every time like the first time.  This usually is something that I remember as Colby has fallen asleep and I’ve blinked at the ceiling wide awake.  I remember and it hits me so hard it takes my breath away. . .it causes a flooding of memories that only incr
eases the deep sadness I feel.  It makes me wish that I sat at his table in Country Cookin’ a bit more when it was slow, while he sipped on his pink lemonade, instead of wiping down the sweet tea counter 5 times just to look busy.  It makes me wish I had stopped in more often when I went on walks up Ivy Mountain to clear my head. Makes me wish I had enjoyed the huge scoop of chocolate chip ice cream we shared while watching old westerns when I was a kid.  I kick myself for taking those moments for granted.

I feel so blessed to have been able to fly back into Roanoke and spend so much quality time with him.  I was also fortunate enough to have some time alone with him, and just let him know how much I love him and how with everything in me I would miss him.  I can’t help but feel like I should have said so much more.  I think myself back into that moment and wish I had expressed so much more.

Popster

I know I am still in a level of denial that everything has happened.  It becomes evident through little things. . . .like putting together a list of names for my sealing and reception in October, and realizing he isn’t here.  Thinking that I need to make deviled eggs because everyone was coming over for dinner and they are Popster’s favorite.  Making a mental note of an exciting moment to tell him when I skype him again.  Each of those moments is followed by the sinking and heartbreaking loss like I just watched it happen all over again.

I think of all of the losses I’ve experienced this might have hit the hardest.  There hasn’t been the same level of comfort because of the circumstances.  I never thought cancer was going to impact someone I loved, as well as my family like it now has.

Growing up I recall friends expressing their sadness of a Grandparent passing away, and I never understood the grief they had because I had only experienced my Great Grandparents passing away, and I found so much comfort in knowing they had a really long life and they were ready.  I understand now, and I wish I didn’t.

I think I was confident that my Grandparents would live just as long as my Great Grandparents.  I feel like because I had convinced myself that this was a fact [That Popster would be alive for another 20yrs] I have a lot of anger built up. I wanted Popster to be there for when I got sealed in the Temple. I wanted him to travel to Canada to visit Colby and I, I wanted him to meet my children.  I feel robbed.

So.  I guess I’ll continue to blink at my ceiling at night, choke back the tears and pray that I find comfort somewhere. . .. sometime soon.  I hope that instead of my memories causing a heartache that I can’t escape until I fall asleep at night, that they will be a sense of comfort for me.

Until then, I’ll just close my eyes and imagine myself as a child engulfed in a tight hug of a big burly man and the exclamation “How ya doin!?”

Popster2

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Immigration, life, I suck at blogging ok.

Not that I think anyone really cares to subscribe or read these on a regular basis (I haven’t posted anything since June and I have no excuse. . . ) Obviously there needs to be another update on our lives and what’s going on with us since a LOT has happened in 6 months.

Colby and I had made all the plans to start the process to move back to the United States.  I had filled out all the forms, made the master plan and the plan B for the master plan. . . . and then, as usual the whole thing went up in flames. . . . again.  I think we’ve gone through like 5-6 plans for how we’re making this whole thing work and every time it’s gone caput.

We had set a date to withdraw my Canadian application which was estimated to be finished in 36 months, and get a partial refund and begin the process for the United States.  This had been accompanied with a lot of praying and speaking to our parents about what was best for us and what the smartest decision would be.   Throughout this entire process I have really been brought to the extreme understanding that God is in control and that his plan for our little family is and always will be the best option for us   – – -The day that we were going to withdraw we received an email from the Ottawa Ontario Visa office that my application had been put back on the fast track and they were requesting the final documents to wrap this thing up and get us onto living a normal newlywed life (Which gave us 2-4 months left)  I get really emotionally attached to my plans and so letting the Utah plans go after I had invested so much emotion and time into it was devastating. . . Not to mention embarrassing since we had to make it public that, that plan was over and we had to put our eggs back in the Canada basket.   Through all of that though it was evident that the answer to the bazillion and five prayers we sent up and the news from the visa office was that we were to ride out our Canadian application and see it through.

So we got my medical examination done and paid the final fee. Then the waiting continued until October when we found out they “had never received” aka they lost our documents but won’t take the fault and they’d be throwing our application out in 2 weeks unless they received it.  Except they wanted an FBI clearance as well now and that was taking at least 12 weeks to get. Thank God for a Mother that knows almost everything and continued to tell us to see our Member of Parliament and we got the whole thing back on track after getting them involved and they pressed Citizenship and Immigration Canada until they found what they had lost and decided they didn’t want to check and make sure that I hadn’t robbed a bank at 17 before I left the U.S.

Then, even more waiting.  They really leave you in the dark the whole time and it’s a constant worry of not being allowed to stay in Canada.  Being alone and waiting alone every day has really made me a stronger person in several ways but I can’t say I’m thankful for the experience. The isolation and feeling like no one understood or really cared that I was in a mini hell was/is a hard pill to swallow but I can’t fault anyone. I don’t know what I would say to someone that was isolated in a basement for a long time with no friends and nothing to do other than make crafts out of cereal boxes, cross stitch, binge watch netflix, make copies of themselves and make their lives better on the SIMS. . . ect.

Finally we were notified of a decision made on my application and we received my Confirmation in the mail that I could land as a permanent resident.

From start to finish the process took us exactly 9 months.  I land on January 7th, 2015

It’s a huge relief and almost surreal.  It seems after a year and a half of preparing and waiting “normal life” involving work/school isn’t even a possibility and I’m almost scared to be pushed back into the real world because I have stupid anxieties that maybe I’ll suck at working full time again, or I’ll be too dumb to go back to school.  “Adult life” is going to be starting for real now in 2015 and it’s the most exciting feeling ever but terrifying at the same time.

Anyway, so that’s a condensed update on what’s been going on with us for months.  Hopefully I’ll have something else to rant about on this dusty blog once I’m Landed and working. . . remind me then how much I hated being a netflix watching couch potato that knows every WWII fact. . .when I complain about having to go to work.

Love yo’ faces

New Horizons! A better explanation to what’s going on!

These past few months, have been some of the most stressful I think I’ve ever experienced.

In March, Colby and I found out that my application for permanent residency into Canada had been randomly picked to be diverted to a different visa office, taking our timeline from a tiny 8-9 months, to almost 3 years.

I was in shock. I was devastated and I literally felt like the rug had been pulled out from underneath me.  I went into panic mode because this is  probably the worst news we have received thus far.   My mind began reeling with scenarios and what our options were.  The thought of being unproductive and not being able to attend school or be separated from Colby so I could. . . .for 3 years always sent me into tears.

So began the process of praying really. . .really hard.  I think I’ve shed more scared tears the past few months than ever before.  Dreams for Canada basically went out the window.  It was a tough pill to swallow for Colby and I that we had (to no fault of our own) wasted the past year working tirelessly on an application that we had to leave behind.

ApplicationPicture

4 1/2 inches of stacked paper, 7 months of hard work!

I began to talk to my parents, obviously the first step to finding a new plan for us was to figure out what our options were.  My parents offered us a temporary place to stay at their home until we got our footing, if we decided to come back to the USA.  So we decided, ok we’re moving to Virginia.

Even though we had a plan at that point. I continued to just feel so uneasy and terrified of what was going to happen.   My heart was excited to be back close to my family, to be able experience things and see Colby interact with my family. . . but I felt so much guilt knowing I was taking Colby away from his family. I know the pain and frustration of not being home for Christmas, missing milestones in my siblings life and not being able to hug my parents when I need it.   So I kept telling myself that I’d just stay in Kelowna,  but even then. . .that didn’t make me feel better either.

I continued to just pray for an answer or to at least feel at peace with our decision to head back to the East Coast. . . but nothing that I did to try and progress to get there felt right.   Looking back on it now, I think that my lack of trust in Heavenly Father and having a constant panic clouded my ability to feel the spirit and have my decisions influenced by him. (Note to self, don’t do that again! haha)  There were so many stressful variables to moving to the East Coast. Colby and I were going to have to sell everything we have.  Our awesome King Bed, our 47 inch T.V my amazing electric fireplace Colby’s Auntey Carey gave us for Christmas. . . and there was a huge chance I’d have to leave my cat, Luna behind.  A U-haul was going to cost us well over $2500, with gas it just wasn’t going to be possible for us.   I’d have to put my parents out by having to house us, I didn’t know where we could earn good money at a good job, where we’d live that was affordable (Cause the only place affordable in Roanoke is in the ghetto part of town)  I was so stressed, so worried, I felt completely hopeless and stuck.

It was one afternoon that I was skyping with my cousin Sarah, we were reminiscing on past memories, like our annual barbie game we’d play on Thanksgiving when we were younger, when I would visit her when she was living in Maryland, and how awesome it was that I lived a 2 minute walk away in Utah, back in 2012.   I continued to gush about how much I missed it there, and if I had a choice I’d totally live in Utah again. It’s beautiful, it’s got a happy vibe to it, I have good memories there. . .. I mean heck, it’s where I spent my first week in person with Colby when I was 17 years old.   Then Sarah simply just stated the obvious . . . “Madylon, why don’t you move to Utah”  and . . .I stopped, and felt tears welling in my eyes. Why had I not thought of this before!?   Even thinking back on that moment, I get a little emotional because the feeling of relief I had when it clicked in my head that I could move to Utah.  I could keep all of my things, my cat, and we could be a somewhat equal distance between my family and Colby’s.  We could move to Utah.    

 

SarahProvo

Summer, 2012, Sarah and I had spent the afternoon doing temple work at the Provo Temple

 

I scrambled a text message to Colby, who was at work, telling him I had an epiphany and once I told him what had just happened he felt good about it too!  It was absolutely wonderful to be EXCITED in every aspect to move, and not dread how we were going to make it.   Renting a U-haul and driving to Orem, Utah is significantly cheaper than driving cross country.  It’s a college town, so  there are lots of people our age,  we can attend school, and we can get bangin’ awesome jobs.  We can finally experience living on our own completely, we can grow together and learn to depend on one another on a completely different level than we have before.   We can easily visit both of our families, we can finally experience being “newlyweds” and I’m so excited for that.   I’m SO excited to walk the streets and visit the places I visited when Colby and I met there.  It seems very fitting that the first place we rent our very own apartment from, work, and grow together as a married couple, be in the place where it really all began, in Provo Utah!

Firstpicturetogether

Our FIRST picture ever together! I don’t look good whatsoever but I was so happy!

SLCtemplekiss

We took a trip for the day down to Salt Lake City with Sarah and Dallin, to see museums of church history and eat at Cheesecake factory!

The thought of moving is very bittersweet to me.  I have really fallen in love with Kelowna.  It’s beautiful here, and I still love seeing a Canadian flag. The culture is interesting and even though I’ve felt the struggle in trying to fit in, me being from the south and having several complexes with what they call “country” up here, a piece of my heart is anchored here and I’ll always love Canada. I’ve made relationships with some amazing people, I’ve experiences things not everyone get’s to experience. I have lived in a different country, how cool is that!?  I’ve grown a lot and learned a lot living here.   I never thought the grass was greener here ….despite what everyone else thinks, I didn’t run away to Canada to get away from anyone ( I may have said a few choice times I couldn’t wait to get out of Roanoke, and leave everyone behind sometimes. . . yes. . .but moving to Canada was made as a decision on what was best for Colby and myself) I moved to start a life with Colby, and at the time, Canada was the place that had the most promise for our future together.  Life is unpredictable, we never saw my application being chucked into the deep dark hole that they call the LA Visa Office. . . but it did.    But even so, maybe Canada was only supposed to be a temporary stop for us at the beginning of our journey together.  If I know anything, it’s that I don’t have as much control as I thought I did.  There definitely is a higher power that has continued to look out for me and guide me to what I need to be doing.   So, in a way, I think things were meant to happen this way.  Canada was just a temporary stop for us. It was a small stepping stone to prepare us for bigger and better things.

We’re working now to get all the required documents ready to submit to get Colby a Green Card so he can legally live, work and study in the U.S.A.  The process is taking 8-12 months, which means we still have a while to go, but 12 months sounds a LOT better than 36.

I’m so ready for the immigration part of our relationship to be over.  It seems as if it’ll be never ending, but I know in the end all of the tears, both sad and angry with be so worth it.  I can’t imagine my life with anyone else. No one, has ever brought me so much joy, no one has ever helped me grow so much. I didn’t know it was possible to love someone so much. It seems crazy how lucky I was to be able to start a friendship and twitter pated romance at 16 and 3 years later be married to my best friend.   I think that this whole experience is a testament of itself on how strong our love is, and how nothing is going to get in the way. Aside from the fact that the odds are against us because of how young we are, add on the ridiculous truckloads of stress from immigration.  We are SO bulletproof after this.

I appreciate all the love and support we’ve received thus far from everyone when they’ve gotten word that we’re trying to make this work.  The financial part of our immigration journey isn’t going to be cheap, and so I’ve started a fundraiser online,  for anyone who wants to help us out!   http://http://www.gofundme.com/9xs2l0

I’m so excited for this next part of our journey together!

Thanks for reading this huge thing. .  if  you’ve made it this far!

xoxo

Madylon

Gluten free. . .

I haven’t posted in forever, and I don’t have an excuse so I’m sorry.  Not that anyone really reads this anyway but it’s kind of like a journal for me (That is public obviously) and I should be writing in more for my own sake.

Anyway, so recently I’ve found out that I have either Celiac disease or like the worst gluten allergy from hell.

I had symptoms all of my life, but honestly, gluten free and celiac disease wasn’t at all on my radar and I never thought I’d be “that person”

The laundry list of symptoms could go on and on forever.

Coeliac disease or celiac disease in the United States and often celiac sprue) is an autoimmune disorder of the small intestine that occurs in genetically predisposed people of all ages from middle infancy onward.   – – increasingly, diagnoses are being made in asymptomatic persons as a result of increased screening;the condition is thought to affect between 1 in 1,750 and 1 in 105 people in the United States,  and 1 in 100 in the UK.

So obviously Celiac disease is becoming a lot more popular, I’ve read several things stating that could be because of genetically modifying our grains, and that’s why we are seeing such an increase in people being affected by gluten.

Coeliac disease is caused by a reaction to gliadin, a prolamin (gluten protein) found in wheat, and similar proteins found in the crops of the tribeTriticeae (which includes other common grains such as barley and rye).  – – Upon exposure to gliadin, and specifically to three peptides found in prolamins, the enzyme tissue transglutaminase modifies the protein, and the immune system cross-reacts with the small-bowel tissue, causing an inflammatory reaction. That leads to a truncating of the villi lining the small intestine (called villous atrophy). This interferes with the absorption of nutrients because the intestinal villi are responsible for absorption. The only known effective treatment is a lifelong gluten-free diet.While the disease is caused by a reaction to wheat proteins, it is not the same as wheat allergy. ~Wikipedia

Would like to just add because some people don’t get it, Celiac disease is NOT an allergy, it’s an autoimmune disease.  Celiac disease does NOT get better and “go away”

I’d been experiencing so many terrible things like headaches, terrible stomach problems, heartburn, insomnia, mood swings that even sometimes surprised me. . . and so in Mid March after months of suffering I read up on gluten intolerance, gluten allergies and. . . dun dun dun, Celiac disease.

First step – Denial.

Even though I was totally relieved to have found something that was the problem (I had originally thought this was a gallbladder issue and was worried about surgery and getting back into the states to have that done. . . )  I was absolutely completely devastated.  So, gonna admit it, I cried. I cried on Colby, I cried by myself, I cried in the grocery store. Everywhere.  This couldn’t possibly be happening to me (And just so people don’t think I’m being ridiculous, I got it there are worse things out there than cutting gluten out of your life so save me the lecture on how it’s not a big deal)

All I could think about it what I couldn’t eat anymore. Goodbye cake, brownies, biscuits, biscuits and GRAVY, anything baked that I love, pasta, thanksgiving dinner I basically had to kiss goodbye. . .  eating out . . .ect.  I was prepared to put the nail in the coffin and was so upset that I was going to be missing out on everything that I loved.   Going into the grocery store for the first time after choosing to go gluten free was easily one of the most embarrassing experiences of my life because walking down the isles in the store with silent tears and getting some interesting looks from strangers almost scarred me into never going out again.

But, after getting a grip on myself, reading some more, talking to a friend in Canada who is celiac leveled me out a bit and I realized I could “replace” those things with a gluten free alternative. I’ve learned thought that you can’t “replace” anything really, because when you expect it to be like what you had before, you’re up for major disappointment. . . but regardless I have found some bakery items that I love and now crave instead of the “real deal”

After being off of gluten for 2 weeks my stomach was actually digesting correctly, I didn’t have to plan my outings on if there would be a bathroom, and the headaches were GONE! It was wonderful. . . and then the cravings set in.

I’m an emotional eater. It’s a habit that I wish I honestly didn’t have [who really want’s it actually] and I’ve tried to get rid of, and I haven’t succeeded yet. So go figure when things got really rough up here with things I couldn’t control, the first thing I wanted to do, was stuff my face with everything that you honestly shouldn’t really eat anyway, gluten intolerant or not.   I’ve continued to send myself back into this never ending cycle of “Ok I’m eating completely gluten free” to “Just this once won’t hurt” except just that once did hurt, and it didn’t turn into just this once, it turned into a repetitive offense and I was only hurting myself (And annoying Colby because he hates it when I complain about frequent trips to the bathroom, my stomach hurting and horrible headaches)  But I didn’t want to believe that this is really my life now. Gluten free. I keep hoping each time I eat something containing gluten that nothing will happen and that will be a sign that gluten isn’t the problem. . . . and each time I get the sad reassurance that this is the issue, and there isn’t anything I can do about it. . . other than eat Gluten Free.

So I am once again, devoting myself to eating Gluten Free foods ONLY.  Even though it’s been a really difficult pill to swallow, it’s obviously rewarding to live my life without every day headaches and planning my outings by when I need a bathroom.

I’ve found that the reason I’ve carried weight that no matter what I tried to do, couldn’t drop, was a direct result of my gluten problem. Little by little I’ve noticed the scale going down and that’s exciting to me, because it was devastating to me that no one believed me when I said I was trying everything and nothing was working! And now I know why! It wasn’t because I was lazy, it was because my gut has been SO unhealthy and basically I’ve been “starving” myself even though I was eating regularly.

Healthy stomach, healthy you!

“A healthy outside starts from the inside” ~ Robert Urich

I’m starting the 30 day shred with my cousin this coming week, and I’m so stoked to continue to feel better and have more confidence.  Colby and I have set goals to what we can “have” once we both reach our goal weight and so I’m pumped and ready to get this going!   This is a huge life change for me, I’m both nervous and excited about it, because although it does feel like a loss I feel like I’m equally gaining a bunch back.

Anyway, that’s my rant/life story for the day.

Madylon

 

But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.

So I sit here. Very unsure of how to put my thoughts into words on my blog. So forgive me if nothing makes any sense, hopefully it will make enough sense to me that I will be able to pin the thought here and leave it out of my every day life. . . and eventually use this as a reference for the future whenever I’m feeling like this again.

I’m an overly sensitive person – I have high expectations that usually lead to disappointment. I put 110% into my relationships and usually am not the one to walk away from a friendship.

I’ve had several hangups over the past year on losing friendships with people over my faith crumbling. I was 17 years old, not getting answers and feeling completely hopeless. Take a minute to just think about how that might have felt. . . to have no one understand and feel like you were a lemon. Something was wrong with you because everyone else around you was confident and happy and making very confident statements about their faith and beliefs. I had none, all I knew is that I didn’t think there was a God because I hadn’t felt it in my life, no one had any answers and I couldn’t find them within myself. . .

Doctrine & Covenants 9:8-9

8. But, behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must cask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right.

9. But if it be not right you shall have no such feelings, but you shall have a stupor of thought that shall cause you to forget the thing which is wrong; therefore, you cannot write that which is sacred save it be given you from me.

As a 17 year old, who thought she knew it all, reading this was obvious. Stupor of thought, ok well my answer was it was wrong. . . but wait, that’s not the answer everyone was telling me I should get. . . crap now what do I do? Do I fake it? Do I lie? Someone help!

I made a rash decision as a 17 year old that no one liked. It ruined relationships with people I was close to. I can take responsibility for my part in being offensive and hurting peoples feelings, but as anyone that was supposed to be my friend and “apparently” had a stronger “testimony” or ground of faith, you shouldn’t have cut me out and let me drown.

I’ve had a year to experience the new parts of life, fall madly in love and get married to someone that I can’t imagine a day without. I’ve had experiences that have made me go back to being 17 and my thought process and the feelings I had. I’ve had conversations with people who love me and who didn’t give up on me even though I was being a total selfish, close minded brat.
So I’m back to a happy place now, I’ve had a huge change in my beliefs, AGAIN and I’m a lot happier than I have been internally than I have been in quite some time.

If you didn’t stick around through the storm, support me and love me through it, then now that I’m in a better place. . . now that I’m happy. . . I don’t want you in my life again. Don’t think that after abandoning me, leaving me to grab for anything I could to help me, that you get to come back and be friends again after you left in such a hateful and bitter way. I’ve had people stick with me through this entire experience, they’ve seen me cry, they’ve comforted me as I talked about my fears, wanting God but not being sure he was there, they’ve encouraged and loved me through it.
In the wonderful words of the beautiful Marilyn Monroe –

“I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”

I am in such a happy place right now. I’m loving myself and noticing more and more every day that God is someone that I want to have a relationship with. Something that was once impossible for me to understand seems crystal clear to me now. Is my faith perfect? No, there are still days that sometimes I wonder if he really is there and if he really does know me individually and personally.

To everyone that was patient with me, loved me, encouraged me, answered to the best they could my questions. . . thank you. With all of my heart thank you. . . I wouldn’t be where I am today without you. It means so much to me, the few that stood by me when everyone else seemed to take the easy way out and leave me. Thank you for not being those people.

I’m just having a happy day – friend requests and comments from people that didn’t want to handle me at my worst are that of the past. Here’s to looking towards the future and continuing to receive the love and support I deserve from people who want to see me succeed and be happy.

He’s my best friend

Today I’ve been reading countless blogs on getting married young

Ironically, most of the people that wrote the blogs on “getting married young” got married at 20-23’ish . . .so maybe I’m like “super young” or even a baby still but whatever.

It’s kinda interesting how I still get craptalk from people and even total strangers about my timeline for starting my life and also for apparently “marrying a guy I didn’t know”. Comments like that are extremely funny to me. Because I bet you any amount of money – I know and knew Colby way better than anyone that lived or lives in close vicinity of their significant other.

It is a reality that Colby and I only were together in person 4 times (A total of 28 days when you add them all up together) before we decided we should close the gap between us, and also get engaged. When I do think that we only spent 28 days together in person, it kinda shocks me a little bit too, because that isn’t even a full month! There are TONS of reasons though, that I wouldn’t change anything about how we met – how our relationship progressed, how we maintained it and how we made it work. I say that because having so many miles between us, obviously there wasn’t time to sit and waste making out in the back of a car, or getting caught up in physical desires. Time together was more meaningful, we talked – about everything. I remember staying awake until 2:30 in the morning regularly (Obviously because there was also a 3 hour time difference) and talking about things that would pertain to our future selves. I’m pretty sure Colby and I covered every single topic under the sun that most people need to know about each other before they get married (and that’s all when I was 16-17). I got a book that had 1,000 questions in it to ask your significant other. We talked about careers, what kind of houses we wanted to have, what you would do if you lost a limb, kids, religion, financial responsibilities, healthy lifestyles, hobbies, heck, we even made lists of things that we had as “habits” or things we thought the other might not really like living with, so when I moved here, I knew Colby was going to throw his dirty smelly socks on the floor next to his bed, listen to his music way louder than he should, and Colby knew I had a tendency to leave cupboard doors open or that sometimes when brushing my teeth I don’t rinse down that random glob of toothpaste that sits in the sink.
I knew Colby on such a personal level without even having to be there in person with him. We talked all day through text messaging, and then we talked until very early in the morning through skype and usually fell asleep together on it as well.

So when someone accusingly says that I ran off to marry the “perfect stranger” I didn’t marry a stranger, I married my best friend. The first person I wanted to talk to after my car accident was Colby, when my feelings were hurt, I wanted Colby. He was the only one that made everything better.

I know people who have met each other, gotten engaged and then married all within 4 months. Can someone explain to me how that is any more valid than me speaking to someone for 10+ hours every day for almost 2 years? No? Ok didn’t think so.

Anyway I’m in love. . .with my best friend, whom I know so well. . . and I’m happy with how we met and everything else that happened to get us where we are now. I’m not ashamed to be married young, I actually think that for me, it was the perfect way for things to go. Marriage isn’t a one size fits all. I didn’t and don’t need to be completely settled and “find myself” before I married my husband. In reality, Colby has successfully helped me begin to find myself with the help of his companionship and love. I truly am indebted to him for everything he does for me on a daily basis.

I married the greatest guy and the perfect person for me. We are truly a match made in heaven!